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Transcript - Pizza Party Podcast Episode 1
Narrator Pan: Don't worry, I'm uploading a breadwinners review this Tuesday. But for now, here is the Pizza Party Audio Podcast every other week. One week a review, one week a podcast, back and forth. I'm currently hung over on working on something and also my Loki IRL webcomic; which is on hiatus until I finish several chapters before it's released online. So here is an animation podcast. It's alittle awkward in the beginning but stick with it it'll improve. All the music and news sources and how to download it you can find in the description. Also, there's two mistakes: I said June 5th instead of July 5th on a release date, and Dio's de la Meurtos 'Day of the Dead' Is not Mexican Halloween, no it's very different. So here is the pizza party podcast reboot episode 1. And it's theme song, which we didn't get permission to use. Super Fuckers theme song plays Pan: It's the Pizza Party Podcast! I'm Pan Pizza. And who are you people? Nolan: I'm Nolan. Ken: Uhm, I'm Black Steven. Kenniththinks. Pan: That's not your real name what what. Ken: It's, Keith. Keith Ledger. Pan Nolan: No. Ken: I was in Spiderman 2 Pan: No. Ken: I was in the Amazing Spiderman. Pan: His name is Ken. Nolan: Kevin Spacy? Pan: No. It's Ken. Okay so- Nolan: This is off to a great start. Pan: This is the first actual podcast that is somewhat organized. Y-You two might be replaced, we might replace you with Lava Pasta or XLR. Something like that. Nolan: That's fine. Ken: They don't know who they are. Ken: Who are they? Pan: Uh, ugh. Well you'll find out maybe. You'll probably get replaced.. like okay honestly Ken I didn't want to put you in this podcast. You were like one of my last choices. Nolan: (laughter) Ken: Sure I was totally the last choice. Nolan: Wow. Pan: I-I mean I'm-I'm not making a joke here. I'm-I'm actually serious Ken. Ken: Fuck. Pan: You keep calling me every day so- Ken: I don't know Pan: I don't know I-I though Ken: I get bored when I'm drawing tits. Pan: You weren't exactly my first choice. But anyway- Ken: I'm pretty sure it was XLR. Nolan: Oh. I'm uncomfortable. Pan: Lets, lets talk about the news before you two get replaced. (Insert News Sample) Ken: Please subscribe to my Youtube channel. Pan: You don't have a youtube channel. Ken: Shut up Pan. Pan: Okay so, Sailor moon's trailer came out, the new reboot. Eyy, you see that? Nolan: Awwh yeaah. Ken: Yeah Nolan: Sailor Moon everybody the anime that no one asked for. Ken: My hand was white after I watched that. Pan: Stop she's 14, stop. Ken: You don't know that. Pan: Okay, well she could be older in this version. I think, I mean she looks, I mean, her re-design is more based around the Manga; She's more thin and, bone structured. Nolan: The important thing is- Ken: What was the Manga about? Pan: Uh, She fights crime. With Feminism. Ken: Oh, okay. Nolan: Beautiful. But, the very important thing is that she is legal in Japan, so it's okay. Pan: When in Rome. Everyone is already angry about the re-designs cause it didn't look like the old version but it's more based around the Mangas. Ken: Yeah, but the old versions look bad. Nolan: Fans will never be impressed with anything so I'm not even. Pan: Ken, D-Did you read that? Like I mean I'm not asking if you read Manga I'm asking if you could- if you know how to read. Is that, is that something you can do? Ken: What is this the Roast of Ken? The Death of Ken? Are you trying to get me before I get you? Nolan: Pan, Pan you are literally just dropping your pants and taking a shit all over Ken's face. Why would you do this? Ken: Stop this- (Pan's tear soaked laugher) Ken: I know how to read sometimes. Pan: Lets-let's keep going until he has some horrible flashback of his childhood. Ken: No. Nolan: You'd have better luck with me. Pan: Ken- Ken: Uncle Ben. Pan: Ken when you were reading in class were you the one going "T-t-t-the" Ken: Fuck you. I know what you are going to do. Shut up. Nolan: Pan you are a terrible person. Ken: I was the one doing that to other people. Pan: "Dueee, I'm Ken, I don't know how to read." Ken: I used to do that to other people, then other people used to make fun of me when I started reading. Pan: "I'm Ken-" Ken: Fuck you! (tear laughter) Ken: You're the one who can't read. Nolan: W-What the hell? Ken: Put that turkey down- Pan: Yeah I don't even- Ken: Stop strangling it. Pan: I don't even know how to read. Ken: Fuck you! Pan: I don't, I barely know how to read honestly like sometimes I get my words mixed up it's like: I-I-I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me I could never concentrate- Ken: Yeah, there is something fucking wrong with you. Nolan: Pan-Pan don't like reading Pan: Yeah. So yeah, so Sailor Moon she's great. Okay no one cares about that so. Space Dandy season 2 is, announced. Nolan: Awh hell yea. Ken: Finally. (Rocket noises to block his words) Nolan: Time for more hit or miss episodes. Pan: Shut up Ke- Shh- yeah Ken: So Pan let's talk about your old reviews. Pan: (Pan Wailing) Ken: Remember your first review of teen titans. That was great. Pan: No let-let's talk about Space Dandy. What do you think of Space Dandy season 1 so far? Ken: He can give me a handy in space. Nolan: Like I said before it's really hit or miss. Some of the episodes are really great and then some of the others are like, 'Why would you do this?' Pan: Some of them were like, pretentious art house episodes like, it's just like, there is nothing going on. Ken: Look at my budget bitch! Pan: It's got, it's sometimes very slow. Nolan: I actually liked- I think your referring to that episode with the plants and I actually liked that one so. Pan: I think it was some other episode that I was like, just couldn't get into. It was the one where, with these pages. They go to a library I thin-, which I think that's the one I hated it because it had libraries in it. Ken: Maybe it was because you can't read. Nolan: I-I-I had, one of my least favorite episodes was where they all turned into zombies because like, the joke was like, hey there's zombies now and stretched like, the last half of the show. Ken: Wait, zombies in space Pan: Yeah that was like the best, zombie parody that's, well one of the best zombie parodies for anything ever made. Ken: You know how people like, say: "I could totally survive a Zombie apocalypse." Yeah I wanna see them try to survive a real Zombie Apocalypse and just have their dreams crushed. Pan: You thought this was going to be easy, no, it wasn't. But yeah, it's now going to premier on June 5th 5th Like they are going to premier it- Toonami going to play like the, two episodes of the first season and then the 3rd, uh, and the 3rd episode they are going to play is the new one for the next season on uh, like- Ken: Why? Pan: I don't know. Nolan: Yeah so for you Toonami fans you are going to miss out on Attack on Titan and Bleach because of the new Space Dandy sorry. Ken: Well I don't think anyone will care if they like have not seen Bleach. Pan: Yeah, who cares about Bleach? No one does. Nolan: (defiantly) I care about Bleach! Pan: Yep. Ken: Yep. Nolan: I want to see the same Arc repeated over and over again. Pan: I know there is at least one person out there that likes Bleach un-ironically. Theres, theres one person. He's their- Ken: I think there is two. My friend likes Bleach and Naruto and .. Lame Animes. Nolan: I like Bleach. It helps get the colors out of my clothes. (Furry panting) Ken: Booo, that's why we are replacing you, booo. Nolan: I would love if everyone in the comments said 'Replace Nolan, he's a dueshbag.' Pan: Yeah, either replace Nolan or replace Ken. I wanna see what's gonna happened. Ken: There probably gonna- The not gonna pick me because you bullied me. And they'll feel sorry for me, so, you know. Sorry Nolan. Pan: Poor Ken- Ken: Why wouldn't they say kick Pan? Pan: Because it's my show. Nolan: What if everyone kicked Pan off the podcast and then like- Pan: Let's see you record a podcast without me. Ken: Uh, okay. Nolan: Okay. Easy. Pan: Okay, other news. Nolan: Book of Life Pan: Book of Lifeee Nolan: Also known as that one guy who made that cartoon one time makes a movie. Pan: Shhh, noo, shh. Book of life, it's-it's by the, okay it's produced by Ken: Same creators as Johnny Test! Pan: I'm gonna kill you! Nolan: The director is the guy who made El Tigre. Pan: Yeah! I'm the one who knows this! Nolan: And Guillermo Del Torro is producing it. Pan: Okay so- Ken: I did the information, I searched on Google. Pan: I know this! Ken: I went on Wikipedia. So I know better than you. Nolan: Nobody cares if you know it Pan, I know it too. So therefore I get to express the information. Ken: That one chick had big breasts and that's okay. Pan: Jorge Gutierrez creator of El Tigre is making a CGI movie with Guillermo Del Toro the guy who made Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy and Pacific Rimjob and all those movies, and there making a movie and it looks... It's about Mexican Halloween. Day of the Dead Dio's De La Meurtos. =/= Day of the Dead Ken: You fucking Mexican. Nolan: With any hope it's better than Mucha Lucha, but that's a stretch. Pan: It's- Don't. No don't insult Mucha Lucha. Nolan: (laughs) Pan: No, I think Jorge Gutierrez worked on that. Nolan: Oh, poor Jorge Gutierrez. Pan: So the movie, the movie looks like, looks like Jorge Gutierrez's work. It looks like El Tigre but in CGI and the thing is Pixar is also making a CGI movie about the same Holiday, and I'm wondering like, whats, like, how is that gonna be? Ken: Pixar is going to go on top because, it's like, Disney, and everyone likes watching Disney movies. Pan: Yeaah. Nolan: It's probably gonna win an Oscar Ken: Okay seriously. Nolan: Because the Oscar's couldn't be bothered watching animated productions. Pan: Yeaaah. Ken: The whole reason I like Frozen won it was because it was the last thing they just saw. Pan: Yeah, there was like some- Ken: Oh yeah, that. Pan: The judges for the Emmy's I think, they confessed saying: "Yeah, I don't care about animated movies, I'll just vote for Frozen because it's Disney. That's literarily one of their confessions. Nolan: That was the Academy awards. Pan: Yeah, the Academy awards. Ken: Academy awards. Pan: Anyway, like. Like, I'm gonna be so pissed if like, the Pixar version ends up looking not as good, but gets more popular just because it's Pixar/Disney. Ken: Yeah, it's gonna happen. Nolan: You know that's gonna happen. Pan: (Sigh.) Ken: You're gonna get pissed off by it. Hey, lets talk about Adventure time, that's a show. Pan: No, hang on there is one more news report, news article. It's... Nolan: Oh? Pan: Ohh yeaah. Lauren Faust is quit- Okay Sony pictures animation the ones who made uh, "Hotel Transylvania" and uh.. uh.. didn't they also make "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs"? Ken: The boner age. Nolan: You could of said "Hotel Transvestite" Pan: Noo. We don't condone Trans-phobia. No, okay anyway. So Sony pictures animation they're making a movie with Laruen Faust about Medusa. Ken: I can't wait for the Bronys to make creepy porn of that, making them as Ponies. Pan: And speaking of creepy brony art. This one time I was scrolling through Tumblr and I found this picture of a ponified Lauren Faust being anally fucked by the Hub Logo, like the TV channel's Magnum cock while ponified Lauren Faust is swallowing a diarrhea waterfall from (laughs) from ponified voice actor Tara Strong and someone drew that. Ken: Dammit Pan, why do you say that? Now Craig McCracken's not gonna re-tweet this video. Pan: It fucking exists, I-I-I it happened, I can't. Ken: Craig McCracken is not gonna re-tweet this video now Pan. Thanks a lot. Pan: Craig McCracken don't give a shit. Anyway, so- Nolan: Craig McCracken is too busy posting to Mii-verse. Pan: (laughs) Yeah Ken: (laughs) Yeah what an asshole Pan: There is someone on Nintendo Wii's forums/ the Mii-verse going around saying: "Hey I made Powerpuff girls, Powerpuff girls should be in brawl. And like; 50 posts of someone; it's someone posing as Craig McCracken but I want to believe it really is Craig McCracken. Ken: Did you see that- Nolan: I tweeted him and he confirmed it wasn't him but we all know he's lying. Pan: Yeah, I can't believe that Craig McCracken would stoop that low. Like, he didn't create the Powerpuff Girls, that was that was, his wife, Lauren Faust. I mean- Ken: Yeah Nolan: Craig McCracken takes credit for all of Lauren's work. How could he? Pan: Yeah, I mean, uhh, Lauren Faust is known for creating My Little Pony, uh... Nolan: Powerpuff Girls. Pan: Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends. Nolan: Littlest Pet Shop. Pan: Samurai Jack Nolan: She-Ra, Princess of Power. Pan: She's the first- Ken: Dexter's Lab. Pan: She's the first rapper to support homosexuality. Unlike all those other rappers. Ken: She almost cured cancer but didn't feel like it. Pan: (laughs) Yeaah. Lauren Faust is amazing. Ken: I can't believe she made Iron Giant. Holy shit. Pan: Yeah, she made "Cat's Don't Dance" Also. Nolan: That actually isn't a joke, she actually did make that. Pan: Yeah, she made that. I'd be like, like, She's also married to like Craig McCracken who was like, I think he was a Janitor on Powerpuff Girls. Ken: Craig McCracken made that shit. Pan: I think he was like, an intern that brought everyone coffee on the Powerpuff Girls. Ken: He just wrote his name on the credits and took all the credit. Fucking asshole. Pan: I can't believe Craig would try to take his wife's work. Like, what a monster. Ken: What a dickbag. Pan: Yeah, screw you Craig. Ken: I can't believe Lauren Faust made Mega Man that was great of her. Nolan: I can't believe Lauren Faust invented Anime. Pan: Yeaah. Amazing. Ken: Single handedly too. Pan: The first anime ever, Ben 10. Nolan: (giggling) Ken: (laughing) that was something. Nolan: Ben 10 was critically acclaimed for starting the Shounen Action Genera with following successors such as Ben 10 Alien Force, Ben 10 the series to forget about; and Ben 10 Omniverse. Pan: Yeaah. Lauren Faust lived the great life. Too sad she died. Ken: Too bad she died. Nolan: Yeah, Ken: She went to the sun to save it. Nolan: Rest In Pieces, 1993-1997 Ken: She died trying to destroy that meteor. Pan: She flew into the meteor, saying: "Supermaaaan" Nolan: (giggling) Pan: She had to reference her own movie. I can't believe like, she thinks she is so great that she would reference the movie she created. Ken: What the fuck, bitch. Nolan: This is after she got rid of all the nukes in the world. And then fought Nuclear Woman. Pan: (Tear soaked laughter) Ken: Yeah, that was great. Nolan: Like, is she that big of a show-off that she had to save the world countless times with her super powers. Pan: Yeah, give some credit to the other Super Hero's, like, what about Macklemore? He's, he's the greatest. He saved us. Nolan: What about Genndy Tartakovsky man? Ken: Yeahh, dude Macklemore was great. He dressed up like a Jew so like, he could travel back to Hitler times and stop Hitler. Pan: (Tear soaked laughs) Nolan: What about Goku when he traveled back in time to save Anne Frank from the Nazi's? Ken: We don't talk about that episode. Nolan: Dragon, Dragon, watch, the dragon, Dragon ball Jew. Pan: (??Singing??) Ken: Oh, oh yeah I forgot to tell the fan's this. Prepare yourself, Pan is coming out with an Album singing all the latest cartoon songs. Pan: I'm going to sing Evangelion. (??singing??) Nolan: It should be available for digital download in a few days guys. Just, just wait. Pan: Digital Download Ken: All you have to pay is 1 dollar, one dollar! For this masterpiece. Pan: You can get it on Myspace, Bandcamp, and also video cassette Nolan: Limewire Pan: Yeah, Limewire, it's got a duet with Bill Clinton in there. Ken: You really need-to like, keep up his Myspace account yo. Pan: What was the news? Ken: I heard Tony Hawk died. Pan: Tony Hawk's underground. Nolan: This news is a little bit late, it's a few days ago but Jamie Kennedy really fucked up the Activision Press conference. Pan: Jamie Kennedy killed Tony Hawk. Nolan: Yeah, he killed Tony Hawk live, on stage. Ken: JFK styled it. Nolan: That was messed up. Pan, do you have any updates for the Fans on your current productions? Pan: Ummm, Breadwinners is next and then Top 10 worst redesigns, and Oh! And I watched a live action movie and I'm going to review that. It's called Small Soldiers it's got toys and its like, Toy story but it's not. Nolan: It's like Toy Story but fucked up. Pan: Yeaah, that's what it is. Ken: Let's talk about Adventure time and how disappointing and you should never have your hypes. Pan: Let's talk about Adventure time! (Unlicensed music/Concerning noises) Pan: Okay, I'm warning you if you want to avoid spoilers to Adventure Time episode Breezy, skip to- Robot Pan: 24 minutes. Narrator Pan: We do like Adventure Time we just hate when they make drastic changes and immediately undo it. Also I was going to cut some stuff we about a writer, hopefully it's not too mean here is the rest of the podcast, and the Roast of Jesse Moynihan. (Podcast Return Beep) Pan: Okay let's talk yeah, lets talk about, what's the episode what's the episode called of Adventure time? Ken: They fucked it up again Nolan: Breezey Pan: Breezey Nolan: Also known as J. Moys. should never write a fucking episode again. Pan: J. Moy. Does it again. Ken: Also, kids don't care. Pan: J. Moys is the Phil Fish of Adventure Time. Nolan: (laughing) Ken: How could you say that, you are recording yourself saying this. Nolan: Also before we go on any further, I should pre-face. Spoilers. Not like you'll care but whatever. Pan: Yeaah. Ken: Spoilers, Adventure time fucks up again. Pan: Yeah. Ken: Adventure Time thieves. Pan: Okay, Adventure Time is a good show. As a, as a, as like, some episodes, I mean like like, as single episodes with self-contained stories, I mean sometimes the subplots are pretty good like Ice King and stuff, but- Nolan: And the Lich Pan: Yeah. Often times, they just say Ken: Sometimes their subplots are like my ex-wife. They leave me. Pan: (laughs) But anyway, like. It's, some plots are just like "Here is something cool, and it's gone. Whatever." Nolan: He be turning 13. Pan: Jakes puppies. Ken: PBG. Pan: Inter-dimensional portals. Ken: Finn falling down and losing his eye. Pan: Finn jumping the shark. Ken: Finn taking it up the butt. Nolan: Kakashi loses sharingan. Ken: Finn being shoved by Jake. Jake losing one of his testacies because he got neutered. Pan: Yeah, what an asshole. Nolan: This show was messed up man. Pan: Okay, so.. anyway. So let's explain what happened in this episode. Oh, okay. What started this episode; basically throughout this entire series Adventure time was always hinting that Finn was about to lose his-his right arm. Like, they would always have like; visions and flashbacks or like, visions of the futures and his arm was always missing or robotic or something was wrong with it. Recently in one of the season premiers I think? Nolan: Yes. Pan: He finally meets his Dad and his arm is fucking chopped off. Like, I thought that was; Dam, this show did something amazing and it finally kept a subplot. We are going to do something amazing like- Ken: I had like, a whole bunch of ideas of how Adventure Time could mess this up. Pan: yeaah. Ken: One of my ideas was that PBG just clones Finn's arm or something. Nolan: PPG? Peanut Butter Gamer is in this series? Pan: Oh my god. Ken: Yeah, he's the princess. He's fucking hot. Nolan: Peanut Butter Gamer princess, woah that's a cool new princess I hope she makes an appearance soon. Ken: It's probably going to be. Nolan: Go on with your theories, Kenneth. Ken: Uh Finn- Shut up, Finn goes to the Forest of arms and just finds an arm. Uhh, you know. And I thought like it was a flower so it was just going to grow into a new arm eventually if you keep watering it, taking care of it. Pan: Yeah, those sound more stupid. Nolan: Soo- Pan: But anyway, heres what happened in this episode, what it called again? Okay, the episode is called um... Nolan: Breezey Pan: Breezey, okay so anyway, so Finn after he lost his arm in that episode he just has this stub on the end of his arm with a flower at the end. And they notice that this flower is starting to decompose- Nolan: And wilt. Pan: And, and Finn just says. "You know what I gotta score with some chicks, lets do this" Nolan: "That'll make me feel better," he says. Pan: Basically he falls in love with all these people and he just spontaneously falls in love, like not even love, hes basically a swinger now, just scoring. And at the very end he meets, uh Lumpy Space Princess; and it's heavily implied that they had sex. Nolan: Yeah, they fucked. Pan: Yeah basically what happened was they, like Finn just wants to kiss Lumpy Space Princess but Lumpy Space Princess says "Woah wanna go all the way" or something. Nolan: She wants go to the deep end of the pool. Pan: Yeah, the scene kinda looked like sexual assault. A lot of people commented on that. But, anyway, Finn- Nolan: Finn's not happy anymore- Pan: So- Nolan: And he's just like; "common flower are you happy?" and the flower wilts. Pan: Yeah, and then okay so, he, so they have se- so Lumpy Space Princess and Finn have sex and he wakes up and he starts having a vision of other character he was, he was scoring with earlier on and they are singing, and then... Princess Bubblegum appears, I guess it's a vision and then.. Nolan: Implying that he is still in love with her. Pan: I guess, yeah. Cause- Ken: (Sigh) Pan: They are still in love even though in that other episode, in the Flame Princess arc, he said "I'm done, I don't care about you anymore, I'm done. Stop trying to lure me back in." And, nope. He's still in love. That development was gone. I guess, and his arm turned into a tree, and the tree turned into a hand and back to normal. Nolan: Yep. Pan: That whole entire thing about the arm being hinted at since the beginning of the series him losing his arm, yeah it's just gone. Ken: I remember seeing like sketches of like ideas for Finn's arm and one of them was like his mother's arm or something. Pan: Yeah. Nolan: Welp, that's all done now. Nope, can't have it. Ken: He's probably gonna lose his arm again. Pan: I hope so, like, I-this-I this has to be, I'm hoping this is just a.. I hope he loses his arm back again, just no. Nolan: Aye. Ken: It won't have the same impact as before. Pan: It was hinted at from the freaking beginning. Nolan: Didn't like, they say at some panel or something they'd say: "Okay we know we haven't commended to the past arcs but we are going to now." And then, Pan got an ask on his tumblr saying: "Well, to be fair, the creators said this arc wouldn't last very long." Well okay. That made me really mad because like, allow me to extrapolate on what this, of, let me, form an analogy for you all. Say you get a large cheese pizza or supreme pizza rather, cause every topping is a fucking subplot for the show. And like, the best topping, Pepperoni, they're like "Okay we're going to finally put pepperoni on this Pizza" And you're like yeaah! After they have been for like, for years, "Okay we are going to put pepperoni on here, alright. It's going to taste really good, we promise." And so, what they do is they put like, 3 pepperoni slices on there and they are like "There you go! There is your pepperoni." And you're just like: What the fuck. I want more pepperoni. This is bullshit!" Ken: Yeah, but you still ate the pizza anyway. Pan: Yeah, I wasn't pay attention, I was going scrolling through the Raven Tag again. But yeah, it fucking sucked. Something about pepperoni's. Yeaah. So anyway, who was the writer? Who was his name? Ken: Phil Fish. Nolan: Jesse Fucking Moynihan. Pan: Yeah, the Phil Fish of Adventure time writers. We're never going; I'm never getting into Cartoon Network now. It's Phil Fish's fault; I pissed them off. Ken: Whatever. Pan: Yeah, he's making money, he doesn't care. He has, he probably kills children on the side, he having the time of his life right now. And anyway, Jesse Moynihan's other works included the ghost princess episode where they just like, had a love relationship that was thrown in like, at the last second and very quickly and just like whatever, they are in love yeah. Nolan: The every so popular, "Wizards Only Fools" Pan: What, oh yeah. Where PB for some reason says: "fuck you! Your religion is stupid, your stupid, magic stupid, even though this whole show is about magic, it's kinda out of place that I'm bashing magic, even though it's here right now, it's stupid anyway, I hate Christians." Yeeeer, Basically that. Nolan: I want to have a really pretentious episode where we describe about Science vs. Magic ooh, I'm smart, everyone listen to me. Also, the "Web Weirdos" episode. Pan: Aww, "Web Weirdos" episode wasn't bad. I loved that episode. Nolan: Okay, that was his best episode but to be fair it wasn't that good to begin with. Ken: Do you think that writer will get fired? Pan: Naw, he gets money. Nolan: Also, "Betty." Pan: Yeah, Betty, that motherfucker. So, let me explain Betty. Betty, the whole thing in Adventure Time was that Ice King is crazy in the head and he lost his wife because he went crazy, and then he gets to reunite with Betty, his wife who from hundreds years ago- Nolan: Thousands of years ago. Pan: Thousands of years ago; and they reunite and they're, and they basically talk to each other for a sentence like; "Oh no, you're dying, I gotta go stop something" and Betty goes out and stops the monster, knows exactly how to stop the monster, doesn't really question anything about this world, knows.. it's just, it's not even.. it's I mean, it's.. there's no, it had too much stuff going on in one episode. It was just like, not even an episode, it's not even any character development, it's just a spark notes of events that happened. No emotions. Nolan: "I like to cram as many plot points as I can into an episode because that is A-okay." Pan: Yeah, yeah so Jesse Moynihan went on 4chan and said: "Fuck you guys, that is how I write leave me alone oh my god." Nolan: "(goat noises) I'm a good writer I won't let anyone tell me otherwise" Pan: Look, he basically said: "It's not how you write it, it's what you write" which means execution is whatever as long as you get the basic idea out. Nolan: Which is, which is just great. Might I add. Ken: Man, what an adventure. Pan: That's like saying every cover song, or remake of a movie is the same thing because it tells the same basic story. Nolan: Yeah, I mean, the remake of the Shining was really good. I mean, that was the greatest mini-series of all time. Pan: I hear the remake of the Shinning was really good because it actually followed the story of the book. Nolan: A lot of nothing happens though. Ken: I don't know, I can't read. Pan: Yeah, reading is great. Only if I could do that. Fuck Jesse Moynihan! Ken: Woooo! Pan: I love you. Ken: Okay, bye. Pan: Please let me into Cartoon Network. Nolan: (laughs) You ain't going into Cartoon Network now Sonny Boy. Ken: You fucked up, you better assess yourself. You better replace what you said about that guy and replace it with Stuart Synder. Pan: (laughs) I can't believe Stuart Synder did this. Nolan: Stuart Synder is the reason why Adventure Time sucks now. Pan: Yeah, thanks a lot George Bush. Nolan: George Bush did nothing wrong. Pan: Yeaah, fuck George Bush. Ken: God dang it JFK you messed up big time. Nolan: Thanks Obrama. Pan: Thanks a lot Lincoln. Ken: JFK I hope you get shot. Pan: No. I mean, I didn't want to say anything, it's like, you know what you mean. Learn his lesson, or maybe this writer will learn his lesson, or maybe he'll change his ways or- Nolan: Nope! Pan: He is so pretentious, no; he's Phil Fish of Anime- he's Phil Fish of Adventure Time writers. Ken: Yeah. I can't wait for him to write like; Regular Show, to see how he fucks that up. Pan: He's going to make an episode where.. where it sucks. Ken: Wow. Good job. Good analogy. Pan: (laughs) Yeah, I think that is the perfect analogy. I put more effort into that than he does into his episodes. Ken: (laughs) Nolan: (laughs) I'm sorry, I was too busy browsing the Adventure Time tag. Pan: I'm soo sorry Jesse Moynihan. I don't know you, but your- Ken: Your writing is shit. Pan: I'm sure you're a nice person. But, you gotta, accept, not everyone- We just wanna help you become a better writer. Nolan: Even if that never happens, Pan: It could happen. Nolan: Which it probably won't. Ken: You're not worse than Bush Hartman. He's just got a.. Pan: Bill, Bush Hartman saved my life once. Ken: Oh yeah, I remember that. Nolan: What? Pan: Yeah. That's another story. Nolan: Another story for another time okay. Pan: Bush Hartman. Ken: Bush Hartman, what a fella. He really has a heart, man. Pan: Jesse Moynihan, your ass is grass. Nolan: And I'm gonna mow it. Pan: Yeaah. (Music interlude) Nolan: S-should we start wrapping this up? Pan: I should answer some questions that are commonly asked. Nolan: Okay, go ahead. Pan: Yeah, commonly asked questions, what's one of them? If anyone has any questions, just post them in the comments on the youtube and I'll ask them on the next podcast. So ask them on this video. Nolan: Yeah! And if you have any questions for us, and you don't; put them in the comments too and address them to us. Pan: No one cares about you two. Nolan: No one cares about us but I- Ken: If you want more Ken, say "I want more Ken, give me the Ken," and if you want more Nolan- Nolan: Just say, "For the love of God Nolan. Please get the hell out of here." Pan: Yee, anyway commonly asked questions. Ken: If there were any right there that'd be perfect. Nolan: That took all of 2 minutes. Pan: Jesse Moynihan I'm sorry I said those things. Nolan: I'm not sorry Jesse Moynihan. Pan: (laughs) Nolan: Pan might be sorry, but I hand out no regrets. Pan: Jesse Moynihan I'll get at someone but I don't always mean it. I'm sorry. Ken: I'm sorry baby come back to me. Nolan: You're such a kiss-ass Pan. Pan: Let me into Cartoon network, I have Loki IRL to pitch. Nolan: Jesse, mmm, (slurp) so sorry. (slurp) Ken: Ohh, Jesse. Pan: No, Stop. Nolan: Ohh, Jesse. Ken: Tastes like bad writing. Pan: Noo. Nolan: Write me into your stories Jesse-Chan Soma-Senpai. Ken: (wild swooning) Pan: I hate all of you. Ken: So remember if you want more Ken, say "I want the Ken, give me the Ken." Pan: I guess there is always Nickelodeon I can go to. Nolan: You mean the KKK? Ken: You don't want to go to Nickelodeon, don't lie. Pan: Yeaah. No one does. Nickelodeon.. I mean, I assume for animators and people working in cartoons that Nickelodeon is basically In-and-Out Burger or a Gas Station restroom, like no one wants to go there, but it's the last resort. Ken: Yeah, if life is not turning out how you planned. Pan: Yeaah. Nolan: Anyway commonly asked questions! Pan: "What's the Rebel Taxi name come from?" Nolan: Pan? Pan: Ummm. Ken: Well, Pan was like, in a Taxi once, and then he was like "This could be a good idea for a name." Nolan: The Taxi driver asked for his Tip and he just goes "Nope" so he rebelled from the norm. RebelTaxi Ken: Also, go to those Youtube videos, have really offensive comments and say "#rebelsquad" Pan: I like the color scheme Yellow and uhh, Black checkers. I thought; I gotta put something like that, so Taxi, that was the theme I guess. Pan Pizza, I always had that theme since forever. It was just like a character I came up with. Originally he was going to be in a crappy show, well, its. It's a crappy show. His name was Pizza Joe, my name was Pizza Joe, originally, and it was going to be a crappy show like Bo-Bo-Bo because it was out at the time, and it was so random and I thought it was the funniest thing in the world. And that's the origin of Pan Pizza. Me. That's me. Nolan: And Rebel Taxi. Pan: Yeah, that's how it all happened. Nolan: And he never drives his Taxi in the show once. Ken: You're not even in the Taxi. Pan: There's no wheels on that thing, it's a suppost to be a hover taxi, but it really isn't. Someone stole the wheels and it's just there in a grassy field. Ken: You got ripped off. Pan: It wasn't really a grassy field; we actually shoot in front of a green screen and it's just a cardboard cutout. Ken: He's actually in his bathroom. Pan: Yeah, that's why you never seen any separate camera angles. It's just a cardboard cutout, so it's not an actual Taxi there. Ken: Yeah. Pan: Yeah. Ken: This is pretty meta. Pan: I'm sorry I spoiled how the behind scenes process on- for the filming. Ken: Every time we finish making a video he flushes the toilet Pan: I mean, I mean, We, I actually like I tried to contact like Lucas films to like, build an actual Taxi replica like, to sit in for filming. But, it was too expensive, so we went for the cardboard cut-out from a school play that was going on. Ken: Yeah, that school play, "The Return of the Jedi". Pan: Yeah, it was a pretty shitty play. It was written by Jesse Moynihan. Ken: Yeah, and he couldn't write for shit, there were a lot of subplots, like, what the fuck was he thinking. Pan: Yeah, the play was 5 minutes long and told the entire book of Hamlet. Ken: Yeaah. What a piece of shit. Pan: I hate you! (laughing) I fucking hate you! Ken: No, he's lying, he loves you, come back. Pan: You did this to me! Nolan: I just zoned out and I'm so lost. Ken: You piece of shit, come back to me, I love you. Pan: I'll find you! Ken: Please. Nolan: Pan, come back from the deep end. Pan: (tear soaked laughter) Yeah. Ken: Yeah. Pan: Yeah, I think we should sign off now. I'm Pan Pizza, who are you people? Nolan: I'm Nolan. Ken: I'm XLR. Pan: No your not! Ken: I'm Kenneth Thinks. Pan: Yeah. This is the last of the podcast, you'll never see these two again. Ken: No, you'll see me again. I'm always there. Nolan: You'll see me again, Pan can't get enough of me. Pan: I don't think so. Ken: I did a better job than XLR Nolan: Hashtag Pan Pizza Party Podcast. Ken: Hashtag Hitler was real and very is alive. Nolan: Hashtag the moonlanding was staged. Pan: Yeah Ken: Hashtag Hitler was staged. It was a comedy. It was a big comedy sketch. Pan: (laughing) Nolan: Hashtag support Westborough Baptist Church. Pan: (laughing) Ken: (laughing) Everything is a lie. Pan: We're done. (laughing) Goodbye Ken: Bye Nolan: Bye. Pan: I'm sorry Jesse Moynihan. Ken: See you later! Nolan: Hashtag hate Jesse Moynihan END Category:Episode Transcripts